Bastard Unions

January 25, 2007 at 11:45 am | In Business Travel | Leave a Comment

Thanks to those fascist pigs in some or other union that want to have a bit of a jolly, I can’t fly to Prague on BA next week, because the mincing little fairies and the air hostesses will be marching around with placards instead of serving me scotch on the rocks.

No, I’ll have to fight for my seat, and sit crammed into a space designed for mutant midgits in a painfully Orange aircraft along with all the moron plebs heading off to Prague for cheap booze and prositututes for their bloody stag do.

If I had my way, unions would all be dragged into the street, and shot.  Repeatedly. With a Large caliber weapon. And Depleted uranium shells…

Prague

January 24, 2007 at 11:02 am | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment

Yipee, business travel is back for the big guy!

On Monday, I travel to the Czech Republic, where I will sample as much of the local brew and nightlife as possible. Tuesday is a workshop in Prague, followed by a flight home.

Never been there before, but I expect it to be fun for the following reasons:-

  • According to some colleagues, St Petersburg is the Epicentre of beautiful women, and Prague is fairly close.
  • Apparently it’s a very pretty place.
  • It’s been snowing…

Saddest thing

January 10, 2007 at 9:36 am | In Random musings | 4 Comments

On TV in the UK at the moment is a show where 5 rich people have pooled their cash to put together a £1 Million fund. On every show, a bunch of people rock up and ask for an amount of money. If 3 of the 5 rich people agree, then the person gets the amount that they have asked for.

Sandwiched between the guy in the sequined g-string who wants £45,000 for building a giant toilet on the back  of a fire engine, so he can float petrol on water, and dive into the flaming toilet – and the completely talentless girl with the obligatory powder puff mutt who wants £50,000 to kick off her acting career was the saddest thing I have ever seen.

This guy walked onto the stage, wearing official JCB gear (JCB is like a British version of CAT), including the hardhat, the boots, the high-viz jacket, the toolkit, the lot. He wanted money to fulfill his lifelong dream that he was – in his own words – ‘too stupid to do when I left school’ (The British Government gives apprenticeships and training to school leavers, but he is too old to take advantage of this – at 25). His life-changing amount of money that he couldn’t find any other way was £2,500. His dream? To become a JCB driver….

Innovative new use for the Wii controller

January 9, 2007 at 4:42 pm | In Random musings | Leave a Comment

BBSpot is one of my facourite sites. This article is brilliant!

Destiny – Elizabeth Haydon

January 9, 2007 at 2:40 pm | In Books | Leave a Comment

While walking through the Safeway store in Alamo, CA (No, not the one where John Wayne fought the Mexicans, that was Texas, and Davy Crocket), I took a look at the bargain bin of books, and saw one that caught my eye. ‘Destiny’ it said, with a proud proclamation that it was ”The epic novel for the third millennium’!. Also, it was $2, so I figured I’d give it a go.

Months later, and being off work sick, I decided to tuck into a little bit of fantasy, so I opened Destiny and started reading. My initial knee-jerk reaction was ‘How could this possibly be the epic to take over from Lord of the Rings?’, but I think that maybe I’m just too old. So here it is then, my verdict:-

If you’re the sort of girl that thought that Lord of the Rings needed a more Mills & Boone touch. If you’re the sort of Metro-sexual man that thought that Tolkien should have concentrated more on what the girls were wearing, and how the satin or silk made them feel. If you think that epic battle scenes should be won or lost based on the hroin’s ability to sing. Then Destiny is the book for you.

Not for me though…

Huge Cajones

January 5, 2007 at 4:04 pm | In Random musings | Leave a Comment

Let me start by Categorically saying that I don’t like / support / agree with genocide, or Saddam himself in any way.

I turned on my TV the other day, to the news that Saddam had been executed, along with some footage of him leading up to the execution. Say what you want about the guy, but if I was being shown the gallows, and being offered a bit of cloth to protect the skin around my neck while my spine is being snapped – so that I can look more presentable in my coffin, I’m pretty sure that there would be a large puddle forming around my feet. Not him, though. Even in the later footage where the guards abused him, the man kept his dignity intact.

Happy New Year!

January 5, 2007 at 3:56 pm | In Business Travel | Leave a Comment

After months of cooling his heels, the BigGuy was all set for a business trip to Athens on Thursday. I could practically taste the Kleftico and Dolmades. The Ouso hangover was already asserting itself at the mere thought of the trip. I love Athens.

Of course, as fate would have it, I got the flu on Boxing day. According to my hippy Doctor, I also got a secondary bacterial infection sometime after that, meaning that I still have a head that feels like it has been stuffed with contact adhesive, a body that feels as though it has been worked over by a Hungarian crime ring, and a vicious cough.

So here I sit with my Lemsip and my anitbiotics, feeling sorry for myself with my puuppies while those little pricks that work for me enjoy Athens. Bastards. On Monday they’ll want me to approve their expenses too. I may have to scrutinise the contents of those claims more than usual…

On the upside, having a head full of snot and feeling shitty made my boxing day resolution (I’ve given up on new years resolutions – they don’t work) to give up smoking slightly easier. I’m up to 10 days now, and I haven’t killed anybody yet, I just might make it this time…

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