tedium calculations
January 25, 2008 at 7:56 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Commentwhile sitting on a plane at heathrow today, waiting for a parking spot, i started to calculate just how much my hair had grown while waiting for delayed planes in the last week.
Based on a hair growth rate average of .44mm per day, i figure that my hair has grown .26mm while waiting for delayed flights in the last week.
It’s been a bad week!
My new pet hate
January 24, 2008 at 2:52 pm | In Business Travel | Leave a CommentAs a business traveller, I obviously spend a large amount of time in cars heading to and from airports.
When in the UK, I use a company that sends a well-dressed person to collect me in an automobile of German origin with a 3 pointed start or blue and white propeller on the bonnet and the number ‘7′ or the letter ‘S’ on the boot.
It’s good on 3 levels. The first is that I don’t have to park my shiny car at the airport where idiots are going to scratch it. The second is that the company pays for it, so it costs me nothing. The third is that I get to pull out my laptop and do some work in the car, or as is the case right now, write random missives on my blog. Last week I spent about 4 hours in their cars, so it’s good that they are comfortable…
Anyway, on to the new pet hate. The nice man that came to collect me today was wearing a neatly pressed 3-piece suit, which I like. He took my bags, and put them in the boot – which I like. He opened the door for me, called me sir, and closed the door behind me again – which I like.
The fucker hasn’t stopped dropping these silent farts that I’m sure he thinks don’t smell – for the entire half an hour that I’ve been in the car now, and doesn’t show any sign of stopping any time soon… That’s my new pet hate!
A sad, sad day
January 18, 2008 at 10:07 am | In Uncategorized | Leave a CommentToday, I am in mourning.
Yes, that constant companion to all business travellers, Jenna Jameson, has announced her retirement from the porn industry.
Business travel will never be the same again.
We’ll miss you Jenna.
Barcelona
January 15, 2008 at 2:48 pm | In Uncategorized | 1 CommentNo, don’t worry – I’m not about to break into song, wearing a white Lycra jumpsuit, and emulating Freddy Mercury…
Well, OK, I might, but later, and not in front of you!
No, this post is about an annual event that happens in Barcelona.
First, for those who don’t know me. I head up a team for the biggest telecoms company in the world, responsible for delivering the future innovation strategy for them. My scope is all services that are not traditional voice and SMS calls on mobile, and I am expected to provide the technology strategy for the entire group.
Every year, the GSMA hosts a show in Barcelona, where the latest and greatest in this space is show-cased. Everybody that has anything to do with mobile telecommunications has a stand, and it is the place where they launch their latest stuff. A perfect place for somebody like me to ensure that they aren’t missing anything, wouldn’t you think?
Certainly, the 15 invitations that I have received from companies who are planning big launches at this year’s show would indicate that I should be there…
So why then, did I just get an e-mail from my director, explicitly banning me from attending – for the 3rd year running?
Short sighted bastards!
Mozart rocks!
January 7, 2008 at 4:29 pm | In Random musings | Leave a CommentSometime between when I left South Africa, and when I went there for a Christmas Holiday at the end of 2007, something special has happened.
No, the rainbow nation hasn’t finally decided to stop killing each other.
People haven’t suddenly come across all tolerant.
The government hasn’t stopped dipping their fingers in the country’s tills…
No, somebody started Mozart Ice Cream. If you live in South Africa, or are planning a visit, do yourself a favour. Click on this link. It will take you to their web site. Then click on the store locator link at the bottom, and find a store nearby for you to visit. The only time you’ll ever regret it is when you’re next standing on that damned bathroom scale – or stuck in Europe with no real hope of getting your hands on your next fix!
Personal favourites for me were the Peppermint Chock Chip, and Caramel Chock Chip flavours. This requires a little more explanation though…
Back when I was a little boy, growing up in South Africa, we had a technique for making the best damned caramel in the world. It involved taking a can of Carnation Condensed Milk, and boiling it for 45 minutes (kids don’t try this at home – every now and then, a can explodes when you do this, and you’ll spend days trying to clean up the sticky mess!). Later on, Carnation cottoned on to this, and started selling this ambrosia under the brand name ‘Carnation Treat’ – which was awesome, because you didn’t need to wait, and there was no risk of exploding cans in your kitchen…
Somehow – Mozart have managed to capture the essence of this taste – without the nauseating richness of the pure caramel. It’s a miracle!
Mozart, if you’re listening – please, please, please open a store in London!
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